Starphillia

I LOVE STARS...

Just in case it wasn't obvious enough!

It is their simple features, a simple speck of light, that when viewed all together, becomes a glorious multitude of colours that glides effortlessly across the night sky, literally explodes before my very eyes; a humbling experience.

S: Do you star gaze for hours and then see the stars 'moving' so to speak?
J: haha last time in the summer I would go outside into the back balcony, and on the side there I could climb onto the roof of the garage from which I could climb onto the roof of the house.
S: Wah nice!!!
J: I would sit there on the roof and just gaze; the view is spectacular. Yea it is very nice... and the stars in the summer is a lot more brighter and clearer than winter...

Yeah so I think I am quite an avid lover of the cosmic heavens... just in case you haven't noticed... =p

Star Sojourner

Once upon a time, I had a dream.

It was a dream set across continents, over rough waters, past mighty mountain ranges, through murky forest trails. I dreamt of travel, of a life of wandering, self-abandonment, self-isolation, self-imposed exile. I dreamt of taking what I can physically hold, and just leave where I was to go on a journey, bound for no where in particular, only following each days whims and the long road. I dreamt of lying down at night with the glorious tapestry of the Milky Way as my ceiling, the swaying grass my mattress, and the misty fog my blanket.

I dreamt the life of a sojourner, never staying long at any place, drawn almost compulsively to the road. Of meeting people one day, then leaving without a trace the next. Or perhaps next week. Perhaps a month. There would be no set rule, no permanency; just the whim, and the road.

Who knows, maybe some day I might go on such a journey.

Perhaps one day, with you...

Blogging in 1807

In 1807, there are four persons of note whose deeds are only spoken of in hushed tones among obscure circles around dinner tables hidden in forgotten back chambers of mysterious mansions at enigmatic locales.

M, M, K, & J.

Doubter of Doubts

Sometimes, I look back on what this year has all being about and I would shudder at the mighty and awesome things that the Lord has walked me through. He was there every step of the way of course, even though sometimes I would not believe it. But I only had to look at the trials that I went through, the horrors of darkness, the highest of highs and breakthroughs, that I realised I could have said the same of having walked through that mess as well; and knowing that I really did walk through it all, how then can I doubt that God had being there every step of the way?

So doubters doubt, but yet I end up doubting my doubts. Strange how a mind works. Truly wonderful and marvelous how its formed. All creation testifies to the great works of God, His loving care in all things, how much more would He care for the ones whom He had called His own? How much more greater would His plans be for all of us who call upon His name?

My future is indeed in His hands. Where else would be safer? Where else could be more secure?

My heart gladdens, a cloud lifts from around my head; the weight upon my shoulders eases, but of course is still there: one does not just leave everything to the helper when He comes, for one still has the responsiblilty to carry it through to the very end; its just that the helper makes it all bearable. Thank God.

Bubble of Blabble

Gosh it has being a long year.
Longer than I would have liked,
Too much of a drag sometimes,
But greater than any other.

It has being a long home coming,
Finding a place in the world;
A reason for the madness,
Of yester-months.

Man, how I wish i was a better poet,
To be able to write what I truly want to write,
Express that which I wish to express,
In clever prose elegantly constructed.

Alas it cannot be,
All my words turn into mush,
Meaningless blabble
All too much.

Really what the heck did I just write? Must be all the late nights!

The Sandman's Sand

Sometimes I would dream of you.
But most times I just don't dream at all.
It just makes those times when I see you so much more worthwhile.

I don't have much to offer.
Neither riches in pocket nor riches in heart.
What I do offer is love, undying, un-selfish and true.
The love that one much greater than I had taught me
To do for you that which I could not have done before.

Longing makes me languish,
Waiting leaves me to the whips, a slow violent torture.
Uncertainty bores into my soul, undermining my strength.
Do not do this unto me any longer,
Neither affection and zeal, nor hatred and rejection.
An existence in the realm of lukewarmness,
Neither hot nor cold.
Is it so hard for you to just say you love me?
Is it so bad of me to expect an answer?
The Lord did not create us for half-answers and shadowy truths.
So come out and say what you truly feel.
Come out and say.

I shall love you to the day I die;
You whom I have found after all these years.
I belong to you.

And so it is...

I realise that I probably haven't updated my blog as often as I should, and frankly, I think for the past few weeks I couldn't care less. Sorry.

Hah, why am I saying sorry?! A monumental battle rages inside my head and I apologise for not updating a BLOG? Why that's absurd! Fight that battle first before entertaining any notion of writing, lest the battle spills into the words like wildfire, creating chaos in content, disparities and conflicts at every paragraph.

What battle? I always say that my mind is like the Houses of Parliament, full of discord, division, and disagreements. And lately the discord rages about God and the future, the division about relationships, the disagreements about family. A battle that had still not being resolved; one that may never completely be won.

They say for anyone to truly believe, there must also be a time of doubt as well. Maybe I am going through that, maybe I am just confused, maybe I am just not faithful enough, maybe I am feeling unworthy again. I don't know.

Maybe I just need to listen more and complain less. Let His words come like a quiet whisper in a rushing wind. Let me just hear Him. Let what I hear be a lamp unto my feet. Amen.

Bobskate Internazionale '06

In latter years this will be a day to be remembered, reminisced and reflected upon. It has being immortalised on digital mpeg, this deed that we all had done. As adrenaline-rushing as high speed skiing, as addictive as krispy kreme on a cold winter day; today the world has witnessed the birth of a new sport from humble beginnings.

It had all being above ground in an apartment carpark situated in Carlton, Melbourne. The centrepoint where the dream was first dreamt, the vision first seen, it became the first place to host an event unlike any other seen by the likes of men all around the world.

And it all started when a skateboard somehow found its way into the Seasons carpark third floor, where there was a cosmic alignment of characters gathered for a film shoot on a cool spring evening in early October 2006. Ideas abounded and before long the sharp turns and steep ramps became the very first circuit for the fledgling passtime first dubbed by one as "bob-skating". After one short stint at filming a still clumsy attempt at reproducing bobsledding on concrete, the group decided to return for an intensive study at the art of steering a skateboard by way of counter balancing weight, down steep ramps, in the fastest time. Thus today, November 19th will be a day to be remembered.

Footage may be posted, but at this point in time, it is sufficient to report that there will most certainly be further developments. This may be the start of an underground cult sport. Stay tuned.