Psalms 51:8 simply says:
Make me hear joy and gladness, that the bones You have broken may rejoice.
What else can one say? To rejoice in brokeness... what other philosophy on earth advocates total surrender? Yet it is so real. Not like the pretentous non-sense of self-help manuals, or even the ancient ways of Buddhism, superstitious beliefs of Taoism, or the self-righteousness of Islam.
I'd realise that in that last statement, I'd just blatantly smeared millions of people's beliefs. But I make no apology. The truth hurts, but it shall set you free.
That last quote, contrary to many secular beliefs, is a Christian principle. Oh man, the truth hurts.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
When all the worshippers gather...
At placement right this moment, and got time to kill. Which is a strange thought really as I would tend to feel that every waking moment is as precious as sapphires at this time of year. This weekend is going to be somewhat exciting and appears to be something that I can get passionate about; it seems like a long while since I'd had that feeling. Ministry day, or in this case, Worship Day, is normally meant for the introduction to the ministry for 'initiates'/newcomers. This time round its alittle more than just that.
It shall be a time of sowing, with the prospect of reaping in the future.
It shall be a time for the older to instruct the younger, part of building up.
It shall be a time when a fire is started and spread, so that things not of Him shall be burnt away leaving what is essential in its wake.
There is alot to be learnt about worship in a day, but worship is such a simple matter in some sense; we'd just like to think that it is so ever complicated. Pray for this day. Pray for revival.
It shall be a time of sowing, with the prospect of reaping in the future.
It shall be a time for the older to instruct the younger, part of building up.
It shall be a time when a fire is started and spread, so that things not of Him shall be burnt away leaving what is essential in its wake.
There is alot to be learnt about worship in a day, but worship is such a simple matter in some sense; we'd just like to think that it is so ever complicated. Pray for this day. Pray for revival.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Commentary on the last post
shoot i realised suddenly that I can write!
man you'd wouldn't believe it but I churned that load out from last post in 10 minutes max. The little bit of emotional teary moment notwithstanding.
and its not like its total garbage and hobpotch of unintelligible nonsense that doesn't carry any meaningful story or message. It can rightfully be called alittle piece of literature I'd say. Maybe I'm just being pretentious. Preposterous.
Regardless, I'd meant every word of it. Including the part about suicide and controlling death. I'd being there. Sounds foolishly idealistic if you'd ask me now; a vain fantasy that amounts to little real value.
And even though every word of it rings true to me at this moment, I know its selfish to even think that this is the end of the world for me. God knows how many others go through the same pains and cry out to Him around the world in one milisecond. And He alone knows how many others go through alot worse. But to each his own I suppose; someone very wise once told me that thought the world may be worse off than you are, what you experience is just as valid and meaningful than everyone else, its just a matter of perspective. I was for awhile dumbfounded and an awkward silence ensued. But now I get it.
By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did; by faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; by faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family; by faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later recieve as his inheritance though he knew not at the time, obeyed and went; by faith Abraham, even though he was past age - and Sarah herself was barren - was enabled to become a father because he considerd Him faithful who had made the promise; the list goes on, but the point is all of them were still living by faith when they died. They did not recieve the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country - a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.
Each person here experienced different circumstances. No one can compare each. But to God they placed their lives and trusted. And God was well pleased, because they had faith. Strange that this last passage could very much have being about people I know today as opposed to people who were alive thousands of years ago. Yes its a passage in the Bible of all books... for some this may come as a surprise; its adapted from Hebrews 11.
We need faith in the lift engineerer whenever we use a lift; what's stopping us from having faith in the God who created the universe whenever we do life and life do us in? Its a simple paradigm shift. By faith...
man you'd wouldn't believe it but I churned that load out from last post in 10 minutes max. The little bit of emotional teary moment notwithstanding.
and its not like its total garbage and hobpotch of unintelligible nonsense that doesn't carry any meaningful story or message. It can rightfully be called alittle piece of literature I'd say. Maybe I'm just being pretentious. Preposterous.
Regardless, I'd meant every word of it. Including the part about suicide and controlling death. I'd being there. Sounds foolishly idealistic if you'd ask me now; a vain fantasy that amounts to little real value.
And even though every word of it rings true to me at this moment, I know its selfish to even think that this is the end of the world for me. God knows how many others go through the same pains and cry out to Him around the world in one milisecond. And He alone knows how many others go through alot worse. But to each his own I suppose; someone very wise once told me that thought the world may be worse off than you are, what you experience is just as valid and meaningful than everyone else, its just a matter of perspective. I was for awhile dumbfounded and an awkward silence ensued. But now I get it.
By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did; by faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; by faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family; by faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later recieve as his inheritance though he knew not at the time, obeyed and went; by faith Abraham, even though he was past age - and Sarah herself was barren - was enabled to become a father because he considerd Him faithful who had made the promise; the list goes on, but the point is all of them were still living by faith when they died. They did not recieve the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country - a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for He has prepared a city for them.
Each person here experienced different circumstances. No one can compare each. But to God they placed their lives and trusted. And God was well pleased, because they had faith. Strange that this last passage could very much have being about people I know today as opposed to people who were alive thousands of years ago. Yes its a passage in the Bible of all books... for some this may come as a surprise; its adapted from Hebrews 11.
We need faith in the lift engineerer whenever we use a lift; what's stopping us from having faith in the God who created the universe whenever we do life and life do us in? Its a simple paradigm shift. By faith...
Monday, September 03, 2007
What I'd thought it won't be...
Most times people go through life thinking they've got it mapped out.
Yes, people structure life into segments. Of sweet sweet childhood, of teenage angsty years, of the turbulent young adult phase, of moving into working adult, middle age with all its assorted crisises, retirement. Then of course there is the all-out end of death, which we all so very much try to be prepared and planned for.
I mean, don't you? 'This is the time for getting a degree'. 'This is the time for finding a job and getting a salary'. blah blah blah. 'By the time I am 25 I must be married'. blah blah blah. The list goes on. And all the while we have this mental image of who we will be in 1, 2, 5, 10, 20 years time. As if we'd know for sure. As if that's how things should really be.
I've got a dream once. I dreamt that I would be an artist. I dreamt I would fill galleries of my charcoal paintings and sell them off one by one and make a living in some penthouse/studio like Issac Mendez. That was when I was 15. I did a most marvelous thing that year, and that is I was one of the few brilliant artists in my school who did a thing most charitable to an elderly home by putting up wall paintings and murals so that the folks living there won't just have drab walls to look at in their spare time (and believe me they had alot of spare time, much to their own surprise). I got that to point to when people say that I wouldn't make it as an artist. Added to that is the fact that I am the highest scoreholder in my class in Studio Art class. All the Art teachers know me, some of whom I was on first name basis with.
I thought that by the time I was 22 and out of uni after doing a wonderful Art course that I would come out ready to charge straight into a studio and churn out masterpieces. I thought that by the time I was 30 I'd own my own gallery. By the time I was 40 I'd get married and go on extended honeymoons. That by the time I was 50 I'd try my hand at controlling my own death and the way I'd go out by committing suicide or something in some suitably grand style for such a grand life.
What I'd thought it would be.
Truth is I'd never got into Art school. My folio wasn't enough by the time I was 17. My parents made me concentrate on the Math and the English. Art went out the window. I graduated with a high score but no dreams. I faced mountains (for a 17 year old) of decision-making the likes of which I wasn't really prepared for. What will I do now? And in all that confusion I just merely looked at what's available and chose Psychology coz it 'sounded suitably interesting' compared to say Commerce, and I didn't really know what Anthropology and Media studies and Creative Writing was all about.
And so I entered uni as a 1st year Psych student. I started dreaming that I would be a forensic psych one day, or some clinical neuropsych after getting a high score for that component in 1st year. I started to, as I did 2 years before, make plans. I would be in Honours by 21, finish Masters by 23, practice at a hospital for 5 or 6 building client base and move on to private practive by the time I was 30. I would marry someone somewhere along the line and life would be good. I'd own my own M5 and go for drives in the city. My family would retire in Queensland and I'd visit them every now and then. I would go overseas and work, maybe back to Hong Kong, or Singapore. Or maybe even the US.
Plans. How futile.
at 21 I was doing work in a warehouse, having missed the mark into Honours. Don't rightly know why. Someone else had similar scores than I yet I missed out. Life happens I suppose. Never worry as I can just adjust my plans one year back. Nothing to worry about. and indeed I got in the year after, having done nothing academic for one whole year I found myself accepted again. My career is not over. Not yet. See? All the planning came to fruition. I got up and went in early for everything; I met up with my supervisor earlier than others, I went to seminars and got to know a couple of people as contacts, I went away and did my readings. I was eager to start. I was eager to show all of them who I am.
What I'd thought it won't be.
Who's to blame for the timetabling error that set me back three weeks of useful work? I missed the first three weeks of lectures. Who's to blame for the ridiculous amount of time spent behind the wheel travelling from one campus to another, and then to home? Who's to blame for my misunderstanding my supervisor and reading up too broadly for two weeks and having that work turn up useless? Who's to blame for my own family life, where suddenly I am the man of the house and I got this whole list of other priorities on my mind? Who's to blame that I was born incapable of multi-tasking and having a pre-disposition for ill organisation of time and tasks?
And now I stand at the threshold of yet another failure of my plans. I stand at the threshold of seeing life as I'd thought it won't be. Who's to know, right? Hah.
Don't take pity on me. There is nothing to be pitiful about. Life just happens. And there is nothing we mere mortals can do about it. What's new under the sun? History Boys had a brilliant quote for this: "Told'ya, history is just one bloody thing after another.".
Yes, people structure life into segments. Of sweet sweet childhood, of teenage angsty years, of the turbulent young adult phase, of moving into working adult, middle age with all its assorted crisises, retirement. Then of course there is the all-out end of death, which we all so very much try to be prepared and planned for.
I mean, don't you? 'This is the time for getting a degree'. 'This is the time for finding a job and getting a salary'. blah blah blah. 'By the time I am 25 I must be married'. blah blah blah. The list goes on. And all the while we have this mental image of who we will be in 1, 2, 5, 10, 20 years time. As if we'd know for sure. As if that's how things should really be.
I've got a dream once. I dreamt that I would be an artist. I dreamt I would fill galleries of my charcoal paintings and sell them off one by one and make a living in some penthouse/studio like Issac Mendez. That was when I was 15. I did a most marvelous thing that year, and that is I was one of the few brilliant artists in my school who did a thing most charitable to an elderly home by putting up wall paintings and murals so that the folks living there won't just have drab walls to look at in their spare time (and believe me they had alot of spare time, much to their own surprise). I got that to point to when people say that I wouldn't make it as an artist. Added to that is the fact that I am the highest scoreholder in my class in Studio Art class. All the Art teachers know me, some of whom I was on first name basis with.
I thought that by the time I was 22 and out of uni after doing a wonderful Art course that I would come out ready to charge straight into a studio and churn out masterpieces. I thought that by the time I was 30 I'd own my own gallery. By the time I was 40 I'd get married and go on extended honeymoons. That by the time I was 50 I'd try my hand at controlling my own death and the way I'd go out by committing suicide or something in some suitably grand style for such a grand life.
What I'd thought it would be.
Truth is I'd never got into Art school. My folio wasn't enough by the time I was 17. My parents made me concentrate on the Math and the English. Art went out the window. I graduated with a high score but no dreams. I faced mountains (for a 17 year old) of decision-making the likes of which I wasn't really prepared for. What will I do now? And in all that confusion I just merely looked at what's available and chose Psychology coz it 'sounded suitably interesting' compared to say Commerce, and I didn't really know what Anthropology and Media studies and Creative Writing was all about.
And so I entered uni as a 1st year Psych student. I started dreaming that I would be a forensic psych one day, or some clinical neuropsych after getting a high score for that component in 1st year. I started to, as I did 2 years before, make plans. I would be in Honours by 21, finish Masters by 23, practice at a hospital for 5 or 6 building client base and move on to private practive by the time I was 30. I would marry someone somewhere along the line and life would be good. I'd own my own M5 and go for drives in the city. My family would retire in Queensland and I'd visit them every now and then. I would go overseas and work, maybe back to Hong Kong, or Singapore. Or maybe even the US.
Plans. How futile.
at 21 I was doing work in a warehouse, having missed the mark into Honours. Don't rightly know why. Someone else had similar scores than I yet I missed out. Life happens I suppose. Never worry as I can just adjust my plans one year back. Nothing to worry about. and indeed I got in the year after, having done nothing academic for one whole year I found myself accepted again. My career is not over. Not yet. See? All the planning came to fruition. I got up and went in early for everything; I met up with my supervisor earlier than others, I went to seminars and got to know a couple of people as contacts, I went away and did my readings. I was eager to start. I was eager to show all of them who I am.
What I'd thought it won't be.
Who's to blame for the timetabling error that set me back three weeks of useful work? I missed the first three weeks of lectures. Who's to blame for the ridiculous amount of time spent behind the wheel travelling from one campus to another, and then to home? Who's to blame for my misunderstanding my supervisor and reading up too broadly for two weeks and having that work turn up useless? Who's to blame for my own family life, where suddenly I am the man of the house and I got this whole list of other priorities on my mind? Who's to blame that I was born incapable of multi-tasking and having a pre-disposition for ill organisation of time and tasks?
And now I stand at the threshold of yet another failure of my plans. I stand at the threshold of seeing life as I'd thought it won't be. Who's to know, right? Hah.
Don't take pity on me. There is nothing to be pitiful about. Life just happens. And there is nothing we mere mortals can do about it. What's new under the sun? History Boys had a brilliant quote for this: "Told'ya, history is just one bloody thing after another.".
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)