Laughing at the absurdity of my predicament

There is absolutely nothing that can ever hope to replace God in the life of a true Christian. One of the things I have always tried to do is be a true Christian and not make a bad name for God’s people. However, there are many things for which I am not proud of, things that I had done and continue to do, thoughts that should not be entertained been entertained, fantasies that should never be allowed to fester festered. And yet I wonder why God is not more powerful in my life! Absurd! Folly!

Not that God is not already powerful in my life; He is my ultimate source of strength, and He has done many great things. Like the old hymn sang: count your many blessings one by one, name them one by one, and it will surprise you what the Lord hath done! He has indeed blessed me, and watched over me in all things that I do and do not do. No its not that God is powerless in my life; but rather He is restricted in my life. So long as I continue to live in sin and fail to turn my face fully to Jesus, to behold Him in all His majesty and to allow Him to be the only Lord of my life, then God shall never be who He truly can be.

Recently I have come once again to this realisation: that let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God (1Cor 7:24). Wherever I am, whatever thing I am doing, abide in Him! Be married to God, and then God can come through in all things. Once my concentration is upon God, and once I have divorced myself from all other things, be it the rejoicing of the world, or the sadness of world, be it my education or my future aspirations; once I empty my mind to allow God to enter in, then all the limits of my life would truly be under the control and mastery of God. What, I hear you say, did I hear right? Did you just say you traded freedom of choice for being under the control of God? Yes, for that is the meaning of surrender. And who else would I trust my life upon? Who better than God? But what about choice? What about what YOU want? What about it? What choice have I made that ever was a wise one? I know my own heart, as I am sure you do too, that I have made no decision that has ever been beneficial to myself in the long run. Sure I got the high for the moment, sure I had money, and sure I had independence and freedom. But all of it is restricted by my own flesh; my own mortality and my own physical, mental, and emotional limits prevents me from attaining contentment, let alone happiness. I had relied on myself for fulfilment and have failed miserably countless times. I’d rather place my trust in the one who created all things; He at least knows what He is doing. Yes I shall surrender my all to God, for He is not limited as I, He has plans to prosper, never to harm. Let Him do with me as He wishes. (a much harder thing to do of course, but at least I am willing to try…)

All to Jesus I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence daily live

All to Jesus I surrender
Humbly at His feet I bow
Worldly pleasures all forsaken
Take me, Jesus, take me now

I surrender all
I surrender all…